i woke up with socks on this morning
so?
i didnt wear socks last night
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
A cab driver remembered me by name, address, and ex fuck buddys nick name from a year ago. I mustve been one memorable shit show.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
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The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
you are not my drinking buddy, you are my drinking enemy.
If man night ends at some point, hit me up and let me prove my vagina still exists.
i looked down and was like "oh shit thats blood" then it was like "shit, thats not my blood." then it was like whos blood is this??
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He's so vague sometimes. Like dude, we've been friends for 3 years. I don't need you to be vague, I need you to be inside of my vagina.
He was leaving the restaurant I was going to as I was parking. I didn't want to scream, "hey, didn't I jerk you off?" Out of my window at 10 am
Just had to double check that I had pants on. THAT kind of weekend.
You can cuddle me. Word on the street is my ass is ridiculous.
You stuck your false lashes to your upper lip and then asked that ONE kid with facial hair if your "mustaches could touch" as an excuse to make out.
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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