like what am i supposed to say "im thinking of how bad that sex was"?
no one is going to fuck you in a field of bunnies
I don't care where my tongue is but i t's going to be in all the pictures.
We're official. Living with your boyfriend sounds so much better than fucking your roommate.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just interrupted a freshman tour to ask where the sexual health center is. Figured I'd just give us all what we were really looking for.
We realized he wasn't with us anymore, so we turn around and he's 20 feet back, peeing on a squirrel.
Really? How much of his life do you think he remembers? I'm pretty sure 75% of it qualifies as "kind of a blur".
Just talked to Kate. She said I called her on Friday night. She said I was crying for 5 minutes because we were parked in front of a fire hydrant.
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
MUFFINS DON'T MAKE YOU ORGASM MULTIPLE TIMES OR HAVE ROCK HARD MUSCLES.
Dont worry, the Canadians are more afraid of you then you are of them.
Randomize