We won't sleep together?
the young, male pastor of my church has a jesus fish tramp-stamp. I made him show me.
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
You really need to take down the pics of you and your boyfriend on facebook. It's becoming increasingly harder to jerk off while i'm Facebook stalking your pics at 2am.
this is not okay. even my mom refers to me as a sorostitute.
I bought a police grade breathalyzer on ebay at 4:37 am. At least I'm a responsible drunk.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
He just showed up with a bottle of wild turkey a half a can of coke and some marshmallows yelling "gobble gobble bitches" my roommates hate my cousin
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
I got "plug" during family Catch Phrase and struggled to not make a reference to butt plug so I skipped it
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
What part of the grouping of the words "anal beads" confuses you?
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
Randomize
