New invention idea: vibrating tampons
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Jason and steven are boiling shrimp in the microwave again
You cleaned out the gashes in your leg from hopping that fence with that whipped cream vodka, didnt you?
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
Look on the bright side, one day you will get to tell your grandkids how grandpappy got roofied on his 21st and woke up in a for sale house missing his shoes
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
the puppy had a little leather gag and was using a ball gag as a fetch toy
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