oh. my. god. the guy i hooked up with last night is currently wearing a dress.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I really can't get over how proud I am of all us getting laid at the same time in the same apartment
Well she just peed in a pot and is now trying to boil it
I succsesfully kept my nipples in my dress all night. Even when I got in a fight. I was made for the bar.
I was all over the place but at every locale you would pop out of nowhere and hand me a huge drink and say "HAMMERED"
I am the fairy godmother of the drink.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
sooo the guy I beat last night in strip pong is the manager's husband at my new job...
Currently using my kid's computer to charge my vibrator. #thisis30ish
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
Now I’m honestly wondering if I took this kids virginity
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
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