My mom just got knocked over by a rollerblader. I'm trying not to laugh, bc my family looks pretty concerned
i now have a sippy cup solely for the purpose of drinking alcohol out of...am i an alcoholic?
He tried to pick up a girl by telling her about his homosexual experience in high school.
All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
i got excepted to unl lol
You mean "accepted".
I just followed a trail of feathers and glitter to class. Today better be fucking magical.
He keeps asking where i got my clothes and accessories. i'm not sure if he wants to fuck me, or go shopping.
The view from the bathroom floor this morning is fabulous
Did I happen to mention where i left my keys when I drunk dialed you last night
Ja rule starts his prison sentence today #3475th reason we should drink tonight
My date just wheeled me home in a shopping cart but it was normal
I'm going out with a guy whose nickname is Shark Week cause he'll eat anyone. I'm very excited.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Beer and Reeses. dinner of champions
Randomize
