He seemed more like the type to get donkey punched by a she-male hooker to me
Did you know Kal Penn works at the white house? That's almost white castle.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
After I saw you grinding on that guy with your shirt completely unbuttoned, I figured it was time for pizza.
I think you blew it when you asked her "Do you look good naked too, Or is it just the bra?"
He pocket texted me while I was blowing him in the car...What are the odds?
Considering how often you blow him,high.
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
Well we went from the roof to the stairwell to an air mattres. One day were going to fuck in a bed
I think I'm getting sponsored by the Mexican Drug Cartel for the start of my poker career. It was an interesting night at the bar. One word, Vegas.
I just remembered I did the whole byebyebye dance at the bar
dont know how to tell my grandparents I woke up in a frat house in the wrong town and that's why I can't see them today
Was expecting a sext from Kristi and then my mom randomly sent me a pic of her ugly Xmas sweater. Worst. Buzzkill. Ever.
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Perfect attendance and not being drunk since Sunday. This is a new leaf if I've ever seen one
Randomize
