a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
make any headway on the foot/dick situation?
I can see my step sister's thong. Don't know if I should let myself be turned on or not
She is my favorite of all the girls you have fucked. Other than me.
Well its official I'm an idiot. I made out hardcore with an employee last night in our banquet room. Oh and got wasted at work. Oh and showed my staff squirrel on a trampoline.
we found you standing over and eating out of my neighbor's garbage can
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
His idea of a compliment is: 'you're cuter than your friend. If you both wanted a 3way I'd do it,but I'd pay more attention to you.'
He explained how that handle got into our fridge. I think i'm going to stick with my original assumption that the vodka gods want me to drink more vodka.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
Some guy I've never met before just came outside and started rolling a blunt on our fence and passed it around to all six of us. At eight in the morning. Today's gonna be weird.
I can see the future and your future is full of penis
he's so sweet and its so cute. but I swear to fuck if I let my guard down and this was all a lie I am going to become a serial killer.
Just seriously saw this chick say, watch this motherfuckers then did a 42 sec keg stand.
You at least asked for her number right?
Randomize
