It would be worth it to see how drunk he is right now.
He cartwheeled into the side of the neighbor's garage.
Ok, i'm coming over
I wish I loved anything like you love Tequila.
Roman Polanski is more welcome at my daughter's birthday party than you are at that bar
so I called to to smoke and you didn't pick up so I smoked and now I'm a race car
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do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
He likes Jesus. Game over.
Oooh wait, he just told me he was high.
Your roommate is pacing with a pen in his mouth flapping like a duck. That brownie got me fucked but not enough to understand this. Come back!
He does that
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I had one glass of wine then passed out for 4 hours. It's like I'm having a quarter-life crisis.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You were drunk it couldn't have been that bad
I've never been drunk enough to enjoy getting a blister on my dick.
I got the job! The hiring manager is the sister of a guy I slept with so its like I'm a real adult now
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
it was cool until he whispered 'sounds like you need a good dicking' with a completely serious face and i just lost it
They call you PBJ boy because you were trying to seduce me with pieces of a peanut butter and jelly sandwich. Successfully might I add.
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
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