she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
yeah you're probably right.. i should stop equating love with getting naked on a webcam for him.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
I love how our sober spotter means you only have to stay sober enough to type your pin in an ATM
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
Hey when you wake up and read this, we really need to stop pullin our dicks out when we drink dude. I have all the pics, yall are assholes
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
So I'm at that stage in my life where I am stalking my stalker just to get laid
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
I've been asked to reupholster their slam-couch so I found some off-cuts of medical-grade, hermetically sealed fabric. She'll be slammed upon for generations to come.
Thought I was doing makeup today for a photo shoot for a short film. WRONG. Try I'm on the set for a Fucking Sci-Fi PORN.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
That jawline could fucking have its way with me.
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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