I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
he just asked me if he could show me what he wanted to do to me using his action figures. where do i find these freaks?
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
she just made some guy spank her... then made some chick take a running start and spank her.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Rob and I are cross faded and the only one taking care of us is a drunk person who's making us dance.
Is it totally terrible that I just signed up for classes and already found the guy I'm going to bang??
Hey, you know that marble art statue thing in your bedroom? Hypothetically what would happen if a penis got stuck in it?
I started crying during a meeting at work and now I'm sitting on my couch drinking boxed wine at 1:30 in the afternoon. Fuck you too estrogen.
Just by hearing the girl outside reciting the info on her fake ID, I know it's gonna be a good night
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
Randomize