Do you think people stop being hipsters when they're naked? because that's what my research shows.
Instead of peeing my cute lil blue panties I peed in the train parking lot in front of an asian.
she looks like someone took a bunch of spare parts and glued them all on one face. it's quite horrifying.
the line for where the wild things are looks like radiohead had sex with an urban outfitters
i wish i could, but i promised myself i wouldn't sleep with anyone who couldn't grow a beard for a while. it's not you, it's crosby.
if he only knew that in between each sext i was puking.
he literaly had a hockey helmet on and was swan diving off the couch onto the coffee table.
I already have one guy that I have regrettable sex with. I don't need another.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
Ok cuz s'mores night just turned into pina colada after noon and it will be mas fun
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Also, being stuck with my family all week has made it very clear that I need to be drunk and I need to be fucked pronto
I just want some dick and chicken fingers please advise
My nipples are YOUNG and they need TWISTING
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