Moving to Utah. Got sick of alcohol and have a severe wife shortage.
so i woke up to her 8 year old asking for a bowl of cereal...
This is a mass text. Does anyone know where I am?
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I have a drunk 6th sense to lyrics of songs i dont know. It only works when i dance..
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
HOnestly. That's my one goal for this whole trip. I don't give a shit about souvenirs or sand. I want penis.
I woke up and we were making out. So the good news is that after two years off the market, I haven't lost a step. I'm picking up girls in my sleep now.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
All I remember is while we were making out M.A.A.D City came on so I pushed him off of me so I could rap along.
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
Laying in bed naked is fun. I now see why guys love boobs... They're sooo bouncy! This long distance relationship is really killing my sex life.
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