Got a plan. Ill do rock paper scissors and if you win we smoke a joint. Throw rock.
dude can i febreze my hair or is that slutty?
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
three guys just busted into my bio lecture, yelled "happy st. patrick's day!", downed jagerbombs, and left.
woke up to the trail of sugar cubes leading to my bed........was i that uncooperative last night
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
just woke up COVERED in glow sticks and glitter. didn't even have to turn the light on to puke.
I fatbooth all their pics then decide which one is the cutest even if they gained like 400 lbs and then proceed to fuck him.
A girl pulled up next to me at a stoplight just now, looked around for a second, and then changed her top, bra and all, before the light turned green. New. Hero.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
if i get arrested im counting on you to get a picture of it
I believe in your delicious
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Randomize
