The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
She tried to escape and she fell and hit the door. She's gunna freak when she wakes up with only half a tooth.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
porn backed up onto portable hard disk, laptop charged, battery backup in place, two cases beer, handle of vodka, poptarts and beef jerky --- bring it sandy.
Well she started to strip and when she slung her hair at me, she painted my face with sweat. A LOT OF SWEAT. It was a weird boner.
I paused the movie when the delivery guys arrived, and while they were assembling the bed, one of the guys pointed to the tv and said "why so serious?" And it made the whole experience happy.
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
If I make it home without being sick in this captain's hat it will be a fucking miracle.
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He surprised me with a puppy tail butt plug in his ass and wants me to fuck him
Remember when I puked into a mesh garbage can in the middle of a meeting and told the clients it was "morning sickness"?
hahah yep
Well the are flying back here, it's been like 10 months, should I frame fake baby pics in my office?? Or too much?
Woke up in a car, do you own a silver car parked a few miles form the house...hope so
I trusted a fart in Toronto. NEVER TRUST A FART IN TORONTO.
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