I can't watch pbs sober anymore
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Does having sex in the men's bathroom on the boardwalk count as having sex on the beach?
kerrys trying to convince everyone in the bar shes a lesbian. cheers to not being the drunkest girl in the room. i probably wont piss myself tonight.
literally every day that goes by where he doesn't talk to me makes me more determined to get him to have sex with me
Didn't get laid. But got a free pie from a waitress. A whole pie.
He's like my sex unicorn. Elusive and majestic. I'll catch him, I'm baiting with patron.
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
I didn't have toilet paper until 20 minutes ago. But I have champagne. Priorities.
Why would you waste your Ritalin on your children?
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
It's officially "let him eat me out in a sundress with no panties" season. Needless to say the first date was a success.
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