piano lessons. No girlfriend. What's up.
i just told a girl i would suck the alcohol out of a deoderant stick
I should have been more specific when I asked for 8 inches.
i feel like my eyelids need a kick stand.
I think he'd cut a tree down for me. He's from North Dakota. That's something hot guys do there, right?
Saw an eatery called Rusty Taco. That sooo could be me.
its hard to take this fight seriously when one dude is an oompa loompa, and the other is a "g spot"
why the fuck would he compare you to sexy aquatic creatures?
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
Found trail of ibuprofen on ground. I'm like the intervention version of e.t.
After this week, alcohol is mandatory.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
No I got a fucking mosquito bite on my vagina. Summer is off to a bumpy start.
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