it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I miss him.. What the hell did I get myself in to? I guess it will get better with time.
No. Just liquor. Time's no good.
and next time when you feel me up, do it right
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
my little brother just asked me why i have handcuffs. How do I tell him that his sister likes being taken advantage of in the bedroom?
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
This is the moment in my life where I take a fork in the "nice guy" road ive traveled for 23 years and fuck everything in sight that doesnt have herpes, or is in-between flare ups and I don't know about it until my dick is on fire.
I'd rather make snow angels in a pool of elephant shit.than sleep with him.
I send him pictures of my tits whenever I feel like he's paying too much attention to his girlfriend.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
I think pretend fucking a camel is a good thing to do downtown. They loved me.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
A gay dude just spanked me with a nicholas sparks novel and called me foxy. I'm putting this on my resume.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
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