this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
i realized that the internet ruins the joy of a father passing down playboys to his son
You stressed the importance of not breaking the seal too early... and then proceeded to piss your pants when you sneezed.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Boys can't fool me. I know "want to come up and meet my dogs?" is just a nondirect way of saying "come up and meet my penis".
she left out the fact that she had a kid until she told me not to suck on her tits too hard or milk would come out.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
I can't tell you what you just drank, that would ruin the point of Mystery Monday.
Dude I'm at a bar, and there's this Elvis impersonator here that I went to rehab with. Apparently Elvis has left the wagon.
We almost ended up sober because of u!!
We just finished having sex and as soon as we get out of bed he yells "trust fall" and runs me over
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
I haven’t been this excited since I found out they sold cases of Jack Daniels.
Randomize
