She has more profile pics than tagged pics. narcissism at its best.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
stripped for him at 3am on my childhood playground and used the swing set as a pole.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
We got three kegs and a backhoe. Now taking bets on what charges we end up getting arrested for. Will need bail money.
the whole "pretend to be sober/pull it together for my family" thing really blew up in my face when i threw up into my pillowcase.
I performed "get broken glass out of my shoulder" surgery last night... Drunk, with a what-a-burger straw.
I'll make some time for you! I don't know how long you need to get off, but I should only need 2-7 minutes, pending what kind of socks I have on.
My new hobby is moving his stuff to random places in the house. Good luck making a smoothing at 6:30 in the morning, the blender top's in the dog food container
The resort was totally empty, just June and I. Which of course lead to EXCESSIVE day drinking and outdoor fucking. FYI Dominicans LOVE to watch.
Well you ended up trying to convince two Greek girls that you were Greek, but failed massively by shouting at them in Spanish, and then almost vomiting after taking way too much snuff. Maybe lay off the guinness next time?
I know you've been in hospital with meningitis, but last night I walked into a streetlight and bruised my penis so who's really suffering here
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
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