I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Bering your kids um. Abiout tol. Throw up
This has been the biggest binge-drinking season of the decade.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
We established that I was in 5th grade when she was in her final year of grad school. Her daughter is also in 5th grade.
He's a Shit stain on my heart
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
He showed up to a booty call with 2 tea bags, but no condom...
I sprayed his whole room with my perfume and left lots of my hair on the bed. So now if he does bring her home, the bitch will know this territory is marked.
Irony: drinking your pre workout supplement out of the cup your Krispy Kreme doughnut holes came in.
Are these your boobs on my camera?
This is what I get for listening to Christians.
Randomize
