i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
i used the pictures of vaginas in your biology book to jack off.
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
Dear drunk me, don't shave my balls til you're sober. My junk looks like a pomeranian with mange.
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
Just saw the stripper pole on the road that we threw out of the party bus last night
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
Em I need to know if his cum tastes like vodka. Report back.
We always have to do something together that tests the human limits of the body. Hopefully it has at least a 75% death rate.
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
Randomize
