Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
never let anyone you met on skype borrow your car. lesson learned.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
can you look at this picture and tell me if you think this my kid?
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
She rode an inflatable shark down the stairs. Viva shark week.
Hey have you ever thought about fishing cause I'd like to go fishing but don't know anyone that fishes and I'm gonna cry because. FISHING
HELP THE ONLY THING THAT'S HELPING ME DISTINGUISH BETWEEN THE TWO OF THEM IS THE DIRECTION OF THEIR WINKY FACES OMFG
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
She said I'm like warm bathroom-sink water. There's nothing necessarily wrong with me, but she doesn't exactly want to "drink me in"
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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