I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
Bar. Show boob. Just one. Free drinks. Instant friends
Guys only need one. Little known secret. You're welcome.
I think I have swimmer's ear. From his tongue.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I stayed up for hours making sure you didnt pass out in a mountain of your own puke. But when I heard you yell AWWWW FUUCCKK, somehow I knew everything would be ok
Ignoring the crisis im in. Sitting in the front yard in a kiddie pool. Wearing arm floaties, fins and a snorkel. Waiting for a hot guy to walk by.
You didn't know it was a gay bar until the 7th guy rejected you. You were crying because you thought it was just a bad night. No more for you.
Honestly I think at this point I purposefully schedule nothing on Sundays anymore so I can spend all day wallowing in my shame.
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
I haven't had sex since the Vanilla Ice concert
Please don't have sex ever again just so you can say that forever.
ALL I WANT IN MY MOUTH IS A GLORIOUS COCK SMOTHERED IN CHOCOLATE. DICK AND CHOCOLATE; IS IT TOO MUCH FOR A GIRL TO ASK FOR?!
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