We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
I dove into a random van at the bar as the door was closing and ended up at some house with people I've never met in my life dancing in a basement
I pretty much landed into this relationship penis first
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Number of twigs I found in my hair: 5
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
No work today. I woke up and someone had written "Markhot Penis = Party" on my forehead in sharpie. Do you know a Mark?
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I figured it out! The supermoon explains how I managed to have sex with 3 dudes in 3 nights without leaving the apartment.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I just went to clothing optional bar
Turns out I screen transfered my streaming trucker restroom porn vid to the downstairs neighbors'TV instead of my own, damn you chromecast
this is a save-me-from-tijuana-tequila-and-hoookers booty call. if i don't hear from you by 8pm i'm grabbing my passport
if i'm not back tomorrow call the embassy
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
I ate her out and told her she tasted like pumpkin pie. She screamed that she hated pumpkins and started to cry
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