I'm at work and it's 1:30. I need a beer. is that bad?
Welcome to every minute of my life.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
Good ideas don't start with we have a bottle of vodka..
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to you in just boxers at my door at 7a.m. with you saying how many squrriels you counted on the walk back, then you made me penis shaped pancakes
It's shit like that that makes me wish being deaf was contagious
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
ex-cheerleader. ex-gymnast. ex-dancer. i dont even know who to go for tonight
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I love when groups of boys part so I can walk through. It's like a red sea of penises, and I am their Moses.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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