I'm afraid that if I tell my sister I think Zachary Quinto is gay I'll have to put her on suicide watch for the next week or so
I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
It's very clear that i'm the girl sweating out four lokos at 2 in the afternoon at the gym
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
The dumpster is full of naked people swimming. I'm going to join.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I need a "closed for the season, thanks for a great summer" sign for my vagina
I knew I was in trouble when she kept referring to the next day as things we should do
So you brought her to my house and left her on my couch.
Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat. Gotta get dat dat dat dat dat ~uterus contraction~
Judging by the ckaw marks on my back i'm gonna go out on a limb and say that blonde chick was a werewolf. A sexy, kinky werewolf.
Well, personally I like to keep my blackmail in well organised folders.
Masterbating to Tolstoy. You?
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
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