ok please explain why some one shaved half of my pubes?
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
She had her laptop open and there was microsoft word opend and all was written was "no italianoo"
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
I had such a pleasant walk of shame. The sun was shining, I smiled at all the high school suckers who judged me on their way to school, and I made friends with an old guy and his dog.
The sigh of relief when u realize none of your drunk texts will result in permanent damage
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
time out. can we just pause the wholesome understanding friendship thing and be fuck buddies for a night?
we need a secret handshake
It could happen. I haven't creeped the rest of the guest list yet.
Just creeped. Everyone is a passable 7. Orgy is a go!
Basically one minute I'm sucking on her nipples and then 45 mins later we're at work and she's my boss.
Gonna be late for work. Sex comes first. Priorities.
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
Randomize
