im drinking this country out of the recession.
He asked to "fluff my boner.."
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
this is amzing! feels like my body is having sex with its surroundings!
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
I know. I just don't want anything else. I have no other desire. Just a ham sandwich.
I honestly don't know what to make of that.
A ham sandwich would be nice.
Rode a jet ski for the first time three days after I lost my virginity. Hell of a week for my vagina.
We followed the campus tour around in a golf cart drinking PBR and blasting "Sexual Healing."
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe you shouldn't go to cosmic bowling, i don't know if cum glows and I don't wanna find out i'm sure his parents don't either.
I think I've had 45 beers today though So things are looking up.
I couldn't sleep so I took 4 shots of vodka and promptly threw up in the sink. Happy Thursday
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
I'm sitting here with a band aid on my labia, this is a first
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