my clit piercing makes the metal detector go off
Come over? It's my birthday
How many times has that text failed you tonight?
at a bonfire and someone threw a plastic cup in the fire. everyone immediately stopped what they were doing to yell collectively at him about what he was doing to the environment, then went back to drinking
only in oregon
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
This american gymnastics guy.... He just messed up. I feel so bad. I just wanna hug him until he stops crying. Not even in a sexual way. I just wanna hug him.
I wish there was an emoji to express our Eskimo Brothership
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
No my first time having an orgasm with you will not be on face time
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
In tonight's episode of Travis' Fucked up Sex Life, Travis breaks into a building at Tulane to have sex with an attractive Asian man.
He does have a nice smile. I also like to think he has a nice penis, but that's just a prediction.
He kept saying "i'm lost" while he was sitting on his couch...
Randomize
