I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
I called her the wrong name twice and she still called me back this morning. DO I still wait two days to call her back?
i just hope all the shady shit stops so i can let him into my pants
shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
I managed to throw up 90 feet under water, just removed my breathing tube, puked, put it back in. All inclusive is the way to go.
If I had KNOWN you and mom were coming to visit, I wouldn't have passed out in the frat. This is why I hate surprises.
Oh, I'm just lighting tennis balls and WD-40 on fire, what are YOUUU doing?!
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
I think you were giving a sex seminar on your kitchen table last night.
He actually offered up a silent prayer thanking God for my "tremendous ass." You tell me how my night is going.
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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