I was just walking through Burbank and saw a hobo using solar panels on his shopping cart. We must be in trouble if the hobos are researching alternative sources of fuel...
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She should get an extra 30 days for that Georgia Rule movie......terrible.
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
He was uncircumcised
It was like inception. A penis within a penis within a penis
I have effectively turned laundry day into a drinking game.
There is always the bar, but 2 30 on a Tuesday just screams alcoholism
But I REALLY want to hide my crazy for as long as possible with him so he'll date me.
Also, thank you for letting me cry in your lap on the bathroom floor. I can't remember if I was clothed at that point, but if I wasn't, extra thank you.
I think we need to dedicate ourselves to building your stamina back to uterus breaking level
I don't fucking know. I'm out stimulating the economy. Not locked in a room with a marker board.
Oh at the liquor store again?
I said no to friends with benefits because it was too much commitment
the wedding party just walked in to the song eye of the tiger. i'm getting drunk.
Turns out naked yoga wasn't a pickup line. I feel betrayed.
Randomize
