Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
i'm as serious about my hair as jesse from full house.
that is uncle jesse to you, show some respect.
What the fuck. The girl next to me just looked at her phone, put her stuff away, and popped a birth control and ran out of class. Lucky fucking guy.
I love how I just got my coachella ticket and ecstasy in a package deal.
halloween is SO much better on drugs, why didn't anyone let us know about this when we were kids
I'm lonelier than Tom Hanks in Cast Away, right meow. Ready to make this bong my Wilson.
I dont think that yelling at the medic "Christmas is gone, fuck off santa" was the best idea when you couldnt feel your legs.
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
He let me keep my Michael Jordan Bulls jersey on during sex.
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
His pick-up lines are quotes from Doctor Who. Of course I fucked him.
who the fuck is meatball and why is he telling you to nap on the bar
Basically all I do anymore is get stoned with my cats, and then we share goldfish.
I had just gotten to his place and was about to get some dick. No way was I gonna let her negative attitude affect my orgasm feng shui
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