Apple Jack is not a good idea for breakfast. Whiskey can't replace milk.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
They only knew me as the lesbian that passed out in a bathtub. That's not what you call friendship.
She took a crow from her moms Halloween decorations, taped it to her shoulder, went to the bar and made the guys buy a drinks for both her and the crow.
At one point last night I over heard you say " I'm gonna puke in a bag and pour it down your throat" I LOVE YOU.
I made a list on my phone of places I want to fuck, it's right under my list of groceries I'm getting a little too used to regular sex but dude monogamy is the shit
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
Try not to get arrested for it, but otherwise i support you
He's CUTE. and foreign
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
Can't even walk I haven't tried talking but I probably can't do that either
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
of course the one day I come to class high we have guest speakers from the police department... Just my luck
I realized my soar muscles form the shape of me leaning over a toilet
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
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