I just wish we had the ability to download food from our TVs.
I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I just found 3 condoms in my math textbook... in the probability section... Under dependent and independent events...
You seemed more interested in the queso dip than you were in the hand job
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
Just because im a good person doesn't mean that I don't reserve the right to be a complete dick about it.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hooker in the library. I repeat, we have a hooker in the library. This is not a drill.
I just heard your voicemail. Glad you like my dick and think I'm cool
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
sober me thinks like you do. drunk me needs sober me's advice. am i allowed to go to his house?
Randomize
