haha i think we're both just down to be fuck buddies..but i do have a hickey and a bit of a big lip and fucking burns on my knees..note to self hooking up on a golf course is NOT that exciting
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
you yelled that ur labia majora was swollen at 3 am in the dorm hallway
The iPad is going to make my porn collection SO much more glossier... thanks steve jobs.
i would one night stand the shit outta him
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
How many times can I tell him that I wasn't expecting sex before he finally figures out that I'm just too lazy to shave?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
I just rolled an Obama blunt and a Romney shame joint for tonight. Vote wisely.
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
That hot guy just got to class and he's eating a bagel sandwich. I dunno which I'm more attracted to
Idk what was more embarassing, seeing her face when I finished, or seeing her roomates faces thru the door..
Remember the golden rule, wine is for baths, and beer is for showers.
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
Randomize
