I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
I just beer bonged a sparks. You better get your ass over here because no one is on my level yet
i was watching some porn this morning and i realized i am blessed with a truly beautiful vagina
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
That penis will go down in history. It's the Helen of Troy of dicks. I will conquer it and the tale will live on for future generations to learn from
Do you have any pix of it limp? I wanna see the metamorphosis, like a cock caterpillar turning into a giant beautiful cock butterfly!
you left the hospital looking like the grudge, your mom and I were pushing you in a wheel chair and you yelled peace out fuckers.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
So why are your hands bright blue and have you seen my roommate.
Both questions will answer each other.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
Drunk me wants sober me to be happy, woke up with half a dozen doughnuts in my bed this morning.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
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