matts gf stood and watched my naked ass gather my clothes off his floor this morning. sweet.
My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
MTV running anti-sexting commercials is a slap in the face to everything our generation has accomplished.
whatever. as long as im no longer referred to as the girl who fucked the pledge on his big brother's couch.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Abort mission; I repeat: Abort mission.I found an attractive one.
Some old bald man is a 100,000 dollar Audi sports car just revved his engine at me and held out his phone at me trying to get my number. I hate the valley.
well some coke just fell out of my nose in my partners meeting so i'd say my day's off to a fantastic start
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
I woke up wearing nothing but my red thigh high socks and a blue wig. I have no idea what happened.
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