I'm still with the girl from last night. remember to call me conrad and that i work for PETA
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I repeat the shot was ON FIRE. I am never going to a pirate bar again.
After i black out, be a good friend and point me to the direction of a girl with daddy issues, any girl would do just fine
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
My vagina bone hurts from grinding on that dude so hard.
An old man just slapped my ass and handed me five dollars while I was filling chips at subway. I feel violated, but that was the easiest five dollars I've ever made.
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
I snapchatted him nudes and he didn't screenshot a single one of them because he's a gentleman.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
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