I just pulled the condom that i lost on tues out of me at work ewwww!
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
i am one UTI away from banning your fingers from my vagina
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
NO MAKING MOLDS OF ANYONES GENITALS
Fine. Suck all the fun out of life.
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
There's no time frame.
For drinking wine out of the bottle and taking nyquil at 9 AM? There probably should be.
Just called the boss a "cunt baguette". To her face. This is why I can't drink with people from work. Know of anywhere that's hiring?
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
I know... It's stupid... It's like, I have sex with his brother and bestfriend ONE time....
I wasn't that drunk.
You were calling my cat 'Simba' and holding him up in the air.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
