Just saw a man in a wheel chair using his feet to push himself backwards through a crosswalk... good morning Atlanta
chasing shots of tequilla with sun chips. its doable but not recommended
instead of telling him i dont hook up with closet frat guys, i gave him his "straight' fraternity brothers number... pike house will be interesting tonight
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
Well at least he stopped keeping track of money by bottles of McCormick.
Since you haven't talked to me since the rancid whipped cream fiasco, I'm going to assume we are no longer hooking up. But I need my handcuffs back. ASAP.
dude. this chick is staring at me like i gave her brother herpes.
We didn't want to make a pit stop so I just helped my husband pee in a bottle. No one told me this was part of love.
Whoever put salsa in the kiddie pool.....your an ass. Fuck you.
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Apparently I took a selfie with fried chicken at 2 am....I'm still trying to figure out where I got the chicken. I thought I was making mac & cheese.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I've had sex near too many of the blankets to let our parents touch them like this
Went to the party dressed like a Cougar and brought a twenty something dressed as Micheal Phelps home. So far I’m loving being divorced. :-)
Its pretty bad when you can tell twins apart by the size of their penises...
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