you got kicked out last night because right after you said "whats up?" to us, you downed your whole vodka ton and threw it across the bar.
We were tigers and tigers don't wear pants
One of her kids, Dakota I think, got stuck in a ceiling fan and she had a fit, thats when she found the penis hat.
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
Did your dad mention the fact that you asked him for viagra at 2 in the morning?
i dont think duct tape can fix my g spot
lets call myth busters
The pine trees are waving at me.
Put the pipe down honey.
Hi trees.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
We were talking about threesomes when she went to say who she would have as her third. She did not get to finish her sentence because her bf already said my name.My sheer presence destroys relationships.
I told this guy in the dining hall that he's a hippie god and he's never made eating yogurt so sexy
If you don't see me at the bar tomorrow night, I was most likely captured by the communists.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
Randomize
