Emee failed...She used my genitals as a tampon
I'm watching CSI, they found semen in the woman's ear.
Guess she heard her killer coming
i find it sad that i can no longer sit in the back of class for fear that someone will fart into the heater again.
Judging by the fact that my hair was glued to my head with vomit, yeah I think I couldve used a friend last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I used to practice getting hit by cars.
I found her in the bathroom licking her screwdriver off the floor. she said there was no way she was wasting a $6 drink.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I don't drink so I see St. Patty's as an LSD type of day. Its like a more hardcore 420
so exactly what is concert sex etiquette? Before, during or after???
all of the above
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So I feel like I should feel objectified by your comment about my boobs but instead I just feel proud. 21ST CENTURY FEMINISM, BABY
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
In my top drawer right now, there are see's chocolates, condoms, weed, and my vibrator. One way or another, this is going to be a good night
I found a briefcase foll of fireworks in my old bedroom...that's an appropriate thing to bring to a wedding, right?
Look man if you're looking for a voice of reason, you're talking to the wrong woman.
Just keep me informed about your plans. That way i can figure out places to go and if i need to shave my balls
What’s the best way to find out if he’s into anal?
I think you have the wrong number, but good luck with that
Randomize