I'm on that like soy sauce on rice
the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
can you take me to a tanning bed
sure, why though?
i have to go once so i can blame these herpes on the tanning bed and she won't get suspicious
Superbowl and Mardi Gras a week apart. World's longest bender here I come.
I want him to come over and snuggle with me but put a bag over his head. Is that rude?
It's not rude if you use a pillowcase that's softer.
To my wonderful winter break booty calls: thank you for making this holiday season enjoyable. I look forward to seeing you boys again this summer.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
I offered to lick your vagina while wearing a suit... Pretty sure chivalry is well alive.
Doesn't matter how many times we tell him the kid's a freshman, he keeps repeating "cupcake boy shall be mine" and honestly you need to intervene
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
That seems dangerous to buy acid from a stranger on craigslist
Dude just saw some some guy puke out of a car window on the highway going to school.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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