Let's hustle tonight so we can relax tomorrow
Perfect. Like where your heads at
By relax I mean have sex
i hate when u poo a lot and when u wipe theres no poopy residue on the TP. it makes me feel like my butt hole is hiding something from me. just had 2tell sum1.
Before I left in the morning I deleted her purity ring app off her iPod, I figured it would save her the shame
I just opened up the mens room door to a dude pissing in the urinal and pointing at himself in the mirror
Either I'm losing my touch or ED is running rampant in 20 something men now
i think that after ALREADY drinking that much, the tube shots may have been a bad idea.. i mean afterall, i did wake up and find my cell phone IN the bonfire the next morning.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
okay - we take $20 and buy each other some 'drink till we puke' clothes from the thrift store.
Because everytime she talks to you she goes in her room and plays Come Sail Away on repeat. Can't take this shit anymore Jake
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
I had no plans to sleep with him, but he had to stay because of the snow. I always say, don't look a gift storm in the mouth.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
true. but still. you know how big of a sucker i am for a penis and a pretty face.
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
