A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
just bought miller high life, hungry man dinners, and a bottle of lube. you win life, you win.
It was like his mom forgot to breastfeed him and he was making up for lost time.
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
he kept asking me "do you love it? tell me you love it" as I was riding him.
and...?
I told him it was alright.
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
Everything that you guys said happened came back to me. like a tidal wave of regret.
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
I dont think she was a real nurse but she was good at it. wish I rememebrd her name
I dressed up as a breathalyzer test for Halloween; never had so many straight dudes blow me before!
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
Would you laugh at me if I told you I think I burned my nipples?
Randomize
