I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
if hell is full of stilettos, fake tans, bleached hair, overused make-up, drawn out s's and blatent bitchiness, then i'm in hell right now.
Lol welcome to greek life
Now would be a good time to set your alarm to pick me up from jail in the morning.
since we're both too lazy to go to each others house, you drink there, i'll drink here and we'll skype. it's the same thing.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
Apparently Bin Ladens last act of terrorism is cock blocking me....
So. How about you can get tequila certified...
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
I was thirsty after the sex and it was a long trek back to res so naturally I stole chocolate milk from his fridge as I left
Boobs have been pretty central in my life somehow lately which makes me question if I am truly gay
sometimes a perk of being a drug dealer is amazon gift cards. who knew?
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
I am texting my fuck buddy about fucking tonight, while facebook chatting with his wife about food.
And ANOTHER guy that I once got naked is doing gay porn now. Wtf? Am I the audition?!
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