my brain is sober enough to have a conversation.. but my arms feel nice
someone shit in a solo cup and left it at the base of the stairs. fuck orlando dude.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
Tonights dinner consisted of washing down my plan b pill with a bottle of wine and toast. College is turning my life around
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
I hope it's socially acceptable to wear a mesh one piece into last call tonight?
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
Dude, he's legal now. You could not pry me from his dick with the jaws of life.
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
Nope, had to pee on the side got violated by tall grass. Then someone came around the corner and I had to stop mid pee to dive into the car.. Pants down
I just realized my new apartment is at the corner of Patrick Henry and Mary Jane.
Give me weed or give me death?
On the upside, no one went to the hospital! Lex's friend was definitely on fire at one point last night though because he tried to juggle tiki torches. He was shirtless this morning and smelled like a BBQ.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
I kinda realized titty fucking is purely for our enjoyment, they dont really get much out of it, except for a guy sitting on them and and a dick bouncing of their chin
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