Come on, it shouldn't be that hard NOT to suck someone's dick
my ex just saw me in his brothers bed. fuck yes revenge feels good
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you really need to stop getting laid in my dreams more than i do.
You'll have to pretend I'm texting you with buddychecks.
Like the Jimeny Cricket of cockblocks.
When this bachelor party is over and your life is in ruins, you have my permission to die.
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
It feels like the devil is humping my brain with his razor sharp erection.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He skipped an important family function with his dying father to fuck me. Terrible human, amazing fuck buddy.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
I need a pedicure
You need to go to planned parenthood
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