Fat chicks shouldn't bartend
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
she was wide awake when they drew a treasure map on her face the she passed out and they played like 7 games of tic tac toe haaa how was your new years
mom found the triscuts in her underwear drawer, its done.
One step ahead. Always. Roses are red, violets are blue... I'm gonna fuck you with a rake.
I keep confusing the name of her and her dog. Both are appropriate.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Moral of the story: don't have drunken shower sex with the lights off...or you WILL break your foot. And the shower knobs.
Apparently I filled my purse with chicken nuggets and told my mom I was a "sexual squirrel."
new dating motto: let your guard down, not your panties
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I've covered myself in body paint in the likeness of R2D2 and I still didn't get laid. Please explain.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
Do you remember last night?
Just that I fell down a hill with my penis out and the emt talked to me.
Randomize
