It was good sex. She was screaming so much I didn't know whether or not my name was Matt or God.
He asked me If i had cheated on my boyfriend when I said no he said it's like he doesnt know me anymore
I don't know, But i remember him licking ecstasy off my boobs and my boyfriend cheering him on
The guy in the next stall screamed courtesy flush and then puked. Bless you Vegas
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
slow down on the beer.. we don't need another pentabong projectile hot dog incident
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Join us. We're on the roof drinking breakfast
He broke up with me because "we're at different points in our lives" I think it's because he saw a drag queen with their hand halfway down my pants
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone came in the potted fern
In other news, the one guy I DIDN'T have sex with in High School is now famous.
When you wear a dress that resembles the shape and color of Kirby to a wedding, you get the attention you deserve.
I know I drink too much cuz "ssssjllapph peneinssesss" automatically comes up in my phone now.
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Just find a separated / divorcing man. They’re too upset to fall in love, too helpless to be alone and too horny to think straight. Smile at him the right way and he’ll be thrilled to be with a sexy younger woman!
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