I'm drinking while my friends build sand castles, now I know how my dad used to feel
You're the only person with a favorite bar in Disneyworld
I tried to pay my bar tab with my gym membership card. Twice.
WORST DINGLEBERRY EVER
i used baking grease as lip gloss
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I heard about the break up and if you need a place to stay my vagina is open for you 24/7
I thought about puking over the balcony or the bathroom and figured the balcony seemed much funner.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I'm at about main and main street
She literally pulled the door off the hinges and "dropped" it down the stairs... Do I just say 'good job' and put her to sleep?
Just do it. I grew some lady balls and did it last year. It's your turn. Time to show what you're made of. Hit it or quit it.
There's a possibility I may have hooked up with that British guy...
Possibility? You left the door open! Everyone saw!
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
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