So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
Another one? Damn, how many David's is that?
six.
Oh, I thought it was higher.
No, that would be the Matt's
i was so fucked up i thought i was at home depot
You know what I'm hearing? Blah, blah, blah, I have pneumonia, blah, blah, blah, I'm a quitter. COME OVER AND PUT YOUR PENIS INSIDE ME.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
We have so much sex to catch up on
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Of course I have a pirate flag
You throw up behind 1 mannequin and it's world war 3 in forever 21
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
That's like a fucking falcon or some shit. I don't know birds but I know that is not a bird you fuck with.
You made the lady who made your cheeseburger sign the box so that when she got famous you would have her autograph.
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
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