Soo I have a handle of 100 proof captain, cupcakes, and nothing to get up for in the morning.. This blizzard is shaping up to be a great night.
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
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I remember desperately screaming that I love my life and running in zig zags all the way home
Called the cops on a high school party then went in after all the kids ran away and took the rest of the beer. What are you doing tonight?
wow, you never really realize how many muscles you have in your crotch until you pull them all.
it was like vegas minus all of the penis and death threats
Definitely just found that pen in the microwave. What the fuck.
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How was the party? Lets put it this way: "He wants her dick" was a factual sentence stated last night.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
My boob is missing a layer of skin
How about we just fuck in random places all around campus, and skip the boring relationship part?
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
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