Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
My Mom bought me a vibrating toothbrush. Maybe this is her way of apologizing for throwing away my other thing that vibrated.
on toilet. in drag. drinking coffee vodka. I regret nothing.
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
did we cross streams again? the only thing I remember is seeing a dick
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
This isn't just a hangover. I can feel the blood moving through my veins, and it hurts.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
The bad news is I fucked my exes girlfriend. The good news is I100% understand why he left me
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
Randomize
