I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
I'm gonna be a few minutes late, some asshole just fell off the ferry so we had to stop.
Even though he was watching you pee on his bedroom floor, you kept denying it and saying he was dreaming
He put himself in the friend zone by calling me dude all night so I blew his friend. Judge me.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
How do I feel about a girl who has a g string tattooed on
So I had sex in a bulldozer lastnight now that's definitely a first...
We're ordering chinese food so if you want to get on this obesity train answer me now.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
I saved a sauce packet from taco bell that said "Free me" to use in my next break up.
Btw I thought it was impossible to use up 48 bottles of patron in one night but I was wrong...
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