Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
gettin pulled by a cop with a camera crew. gonna flee. want my 15 min of fame on cops.
the day after is always just damage control
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
i was trying to give him roadhead and my tits kept knocking his cheap shifter into neutral...was the first time my tits have ever cock blocked me
kinda considering buying a life alert for sophmore year
I'm slowing backing away from her. I tried breaking up with her and it felt like I was clubbing baby seals.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
He insisted on us having sex while watching the biggest loser and asked me if I could "resist the temptation".
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
Donating $10 to Sandy victims for every hurricane I drink tomorrow. Buying me alcohol just became a good cause.
The house hit rave levels when La Bamba came on which confuses me because I live in white suburban Canada
PARA BAILAR LA BAMBA ASSHOLES
I've pulled 4 ticks off of me. This is the last time I suck dick in the wild.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
There's something sensual about taking off a pair of socks.
Randomize
