Just saved her as "new hostess that randy banged" ...I forgot her name
i hate always having to make my eye shadow look really good since my eyes always end up closed by the end of the night in pics
I left two hundred in singles in your car sorry about the mess
I drunken agreed to go wedding dress shopping with a stranger at the bar yesterday. She sent me an email asking what days I am free.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Hooking up with him was lovely.. but waking up in his bed the next morning and finding double stuffed oreos... I mean.... I won
come over. We can flirt with the criteria for substance abuse and talk about our daddy issues
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if buying Twisted Teas for the alcoholics posted up outside the gas station counts as paying it forward but I am optimistic.
And by not handle it I mean it makes me want to sit on his face
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Looks like a sea otter shaved my vagina. Keep an eye out for me this weekend, no one can see this.
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
I'm sorry I missed your birthday brunch. If it makes you feel any better I woke up wearing someone else's toga and a sombrero
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