Your date looks like the Cloverfield monster. good luck.
If I was Danny Tanner and my wife died and left me with three kids I would hire a nanny rather than bringing in the sexually promiscuos uncle with a fetish for leather and rebellion and my obviously mentally ill (possibly gay) best friend Joey, who has never had a girlfriend and consistently talks in cartoon voices... a nanny is just a better choice
cynthia nixon should never get laid more than me
just cuze she's 16 doesn't mean it's illegal to add her on facebook
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Does your throat ever get sore from being choked too hard or do u think I'm just getting sick??
She said "don't make this weird" and then proceeded to sniff me.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
do we own a ladder
We do not.
then how am i on the roof
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
HOLY FUCK I almost floated out of the city. Thank god my dog kept me down.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
He washed his dick in my kitchen sink after sex. I think he might be a keeper.
there were rolls with just one bite out of each one leading to the bedroom. you were laying on the bed naked and yelled 'you did it you followed the bread crumbs!'
Randomize
