Is it bad that Pitbull has taught me more Spanish than high school did?
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
Stalkers don't have time for showers...it's a full time job
I definitely managed to work the word "aforementioned" into the conversation.. At least I'm an intelligent sexter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She started licking your face, then you turned to me and said "I guess thats my cue", and you proceeded to hook up with her.
It's never too late to be topless.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I get so many dick pics from him...He has an unhealthy obsession with his own penis...
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
Well I mean I HAD done a pretty good job of not pooping myself through the years
Dude I used amphetamines responsibly today though. I snorted one in the am for work and then chewed one in the pm for other work. I'm an adult.
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
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