You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
wine pong. its mother daughter day and i think she's mad. I smell like jager
Why are you surprised? I've only ever liked older guys since I was a 3 yr old crushing on her pediatrician.
I'm a bit offended I got no nudies back but it's whatever
They're in the mail. Snapchats too fast. I want the suspense.
Being sober is boring. Tomorrow I'm def bringing wine and my vibrator to work. Might even booty call that hot guy on floor 5. Making the last week at this job legendary.
Right when he asked me if I was on birth control my dad walked in. This is my fate.
Please tell me those naked pics were not your mom. Lie if you have to.
Remember when I made fun of you when you ran out of toilet paper on your brother's birthday and had to use coffee filters? Guess what happened today
Like I could never be a lawyer because I would just look like a porn star impersonation of a lawyer.
it's your last night here, let's make it one we may or may not remember.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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