Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
her dad is making me watch Glen Beck, i only agreed because i penetrated his daughter earlier.
You were sitting at the bus stop holding hands with some Polish girl you just met, who was just as drunk as you were, and you kept trying to light your Kit Kat and smoke it.
the boat had a sign not to jump off the roof of it, which gave us the idea to jump off the roof of it
I'll just dance on top of the ping pong table, and if it's stable enough for that, then it's stable enough for sex
Also, turning on the light this morning was a 3 step process. Way too hungover.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
On that note if you see a hobo smiling with a pack of cigarettes and an AMP energy drink, that was my good deed for the day
TONGUES ARE JUST MEAT TENTACLES IN OUR MOUTHS OMG
HOW ABOUT I DON'T WAKE UP TO THESE TYPES OF TEXTS
I just looked at your pics on Facebook....there was cake? Where the fuck was I!?
DOGS JUST TOTALLY ATE THE FEATHERS OFF MY NIPPLE CLAMPS!!!
Our house drank 90 beers yesterday afternoon before 8pm so add that to the list
So.. I was kinda upset i got the bad fuck out of the situation
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
Randomize
