she's doing push ups on the keg. hows a girl supposed to compete with that?
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
The project manager just came into talk to me for the first time and I had justed googled best drum solo ever and couldn't X out of the screen.
Just threw up at the bar from the heat. Fun change of pace.
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Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
so gross sitting on a warm chair at a restaurant..you just know a fat person was sitting there shoveling food into their face for hours.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
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fond memories of taking my pregnancy test here in this Burger King
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
i just woke up on the desk in his dorm with him snoring in my vagina. better than last week waking up to a different guy puking on my bare ass i guess.
I just found a contact in my phone named "Nick from The Party". Who's nick?
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