What you up to?
Having coffee. Getting eyefucked. Eyefucking.
Full throttle
Some guys are relationship guys. Not our niche.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
It was pathetic and I was covered in butter
He crawled outside into the bushes to throw up. He's just laying there now but he says he'll be ready to come home if we just give him five
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
Got promoted and on my way out the door was informed that my beard makes my face perfect for riding. Today is gonna be a good day.
I plan to try out my new vibrator and watch Star Trek: The Next Generation. It's a busy night.
Should I apologize to him for saying I wanted to punch him in the face as I was digging through the trash?
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
90% sure I just sold adderall to my professor
100% proud
He fucked me while I was smoking his blunt. His apartment was trashed and he drives a van that looks like it’s been hit by a train but still 10/10 would fuck again.
Can I send you a random dick pic? It's got a lightsaber tattoo
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