at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I really wanna talk..
if by talk you mean have nasty makeup sex involving marshmellow fluff.. I'm down
Idk if you've ever had the pleasure of 1. Vomiting on a sidewalk - at 3 in the afternoon 2. Vomiting nachos or 3. Vomiting nachos out of your nose but really I do not advise any of the above.
Just heard one of my friends say, "if you're trying to take advantage of me I really dont care. I just want this beer." ..
In your defense, I really thought capturing that alligator would have been a lot more awesome and a lot less tragic.
RIP Mr Bojangles.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
be proud. or at least amused. an 18 yr old and a 25 yr old at least makes my average hookup age this week the same as my age.
I told him he was probably the first guy to get fucked while wearing Star Wars pyjamas.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I just remembered I made you punch yourself in the face last night and I would like to formally apologize for that even though it was hilarious.
I THINK it was the lead singer. Whoever he was, I have his number and his dick was pierced.
It was totally the lead singer.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Do you think it's a bad sign of the outcome of the pregnancy test I'm about to take that I was eating a fudgsicle on the way into the drugstore? Would it make worse to tell you I also bought a big ass bag of Cornnuts?
Randomize
