Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Quiet hours sex sucks. I hate finals.
Omg!!!! Call me in the morning I just saw A stripper queef out a dollar
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
thanks for being my moral compass. and thanks for not always pointing north so i can be slutty and not feel bad about it.
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
Ur wingman ability is causing serious doubt
Ok first off its WAY easier if you are actually here
If I show up to the mall alone looking like I do to purchase a vibrator and some Japanese food, I would judge me too.
It's election day and I was just tied up with an American flag scarf
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
Being a fine ass woman in a world full of fuckboys is the realest struggle I've ever known.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
