last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude, I swear her tits are going to give me a concusion.
sometimes when i'm drunk i choose the spanish option on the ATM to challenge myself.
Are you still crying. What are you doing. Have 10 shots of tequila.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
It's fucking New Year's. I can be soberish in 2013 after tonight. It's like the 30 years of grey area between Jesus' birth and death.
easter 2014 is on 4/20 THIS IS NOT A DRILL YOUR FAMILY WILL EXPECT YOU TO BE HOME AND SOBER I REPEAT THIS IS NOT A DRILL
Blow job season was short but glorious.
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
