So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
Just because we had intercourse doesn't mean we're friends.
This unplanned pregnancy thing is really taking all the fun out of football season.
I don't want to eat him, he probably tastes terrible.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
you missed kickoff and the first round of bodyshots. I suggest you get here now.
I think the guy in front of me just puked in a styrofoam cup.
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
I still don't know why you took that job... it sounds miserable
not having any beer money sounds even more miserable
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
I'm imagining a seal in an ugly shirt hahahahaha Percocet
He played with my boobs the whole time we watched Scott Pilgrim and then started invited others to play with them too. It reminded me of how my mom gives out my french fries without asking.
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
Well, not only did I find out the Top Knight has roof access, I also let a guy I just met eat me out on the roof. Seems like a lot of wins if you ask me.
Randomize
