Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
We made a drinking game out of Project Runway. Gay guys are so fun.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
We smoked speed and opium for the first time. ended up harvesting cucumbers with locals at 9am in a farmers field. Laos is fuckin crazy.
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
Well there is another shower in Nov. So I have three months to figure out how to get some drunk space fucking. May need some of your mead
I vaguely recall putting a toaster in the freezer.
I think god invented us with two hands so we can grab an ass and spank it at the same time.
American Eric just peed on us from the second floor. Hes now very confused as to why his "toilet is yelling." Send help.
my friend was passed out in the bathroom so I threw up in the coffee maker, not the pot the water reservoir that kind of drunk.
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
I swear I was in Legend of Zelda Twilight Princess and American Ninja Warrior at the same time. I'm never getting high while rock climbing again.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
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